It’s funny when I was a child or even a teenager I thought I was going through so many obstacles by myself. Granted, I never told anyone what was going on in my life – I now realize so many others tried hiding their own struggles.
I used to be embarrassed and ashamed of my past, but the more I share my story the more I come to learn about your stories. This blog is not just about me, but our stories and how we overcame the struggles in our lives. It’s important to share “your story” as it becomes, “Her Story.” A story about collective women who all have experienced hardships and adversity, yet still find the strength to move on and kick butt.
This is my very first interview of a brave and courageous woman named, Sasha. This is the first time in her life that she is willing to open up the wounds and talk publicly about her experiences. I met Sasha when I too was struggling with bullying in Middle School. I am proud to call her my friend. This is Her Story. *Please know writing this was particularly hard for me to do because I feel as though the more I hear about what happened within the school district I grew up in – Educators failed some children there. This is my perspective.
My mom worked two jobs and my dad worked as a truck driver; so as a result my siblings and I spent a lot of time with my gram. We hardly ever got to see our mother because she would work herself to exhaustion always trying to provide for her family. The scar this left of watching her struggle but still fight has always stayed with me. She must have been under immense stress.
I’m that person who could never stick up for myself. Middle school and High School were relentless and showed me no mercy. One time at school some kids told the principal I had scabies. I got called to the nurses office and she took me behind the curtain – made me undress while the principal stood outside the curtain until she checked my body. Another instance some girls from the same grade told the guidance counselor I was doing sexual things for jelly bracelets. I had been wearing these bracelets because each one had particular meaning to my life. When called down to the office and questioned, I was lost when she kept asking me why I was wearing them and who gave them to me.
Just when you think other kids couldn’t take bullying to another level, in middle school a group of students told the guidance counselor I was anorexic which then resulted in me being mandated to eat lunch in the guidance office two months while being watched. I would have panic attacks every single morning trying to get ready for school – I knew what awaited me. I’d change a thousand times and end up putting on a hoodie to hide my body.
Honestly what broke me inside was when I saw a fellow student following another and he would shove him from behind as well as making remarks like, “come on “J” aren’t you going to use your karate on me?” Enough was never enough – he wouldn’t leave him alone. He continuously badgered him to where these events even occurred on the bus ramp where numerous kids and teachers were around. The other students would watch and laugh to which the teachers still did nothing even as “J” tried to walk away.
If no one was going to stand up to this bully – I would. I went over and shoved the kid back and told him if he didn’t stop he would not like to be beaten by a girl in front of so many. Looking back I realize this was probably not the best way to go about it, but I knew how “J” felt as I was bullied daily.
After high school I went through this jealousy stage of how amazing everyone’s lives were and are and I felt as though I wasn’t succeeding or doing as well in my own life. It stuck with me. All of those comments became affirmations for me. I can remember someone getting engaged and at the time I became upset with my own husband because we weren’t there in our relationship yet. My gram reigned me in and told me to be happy with what you have because you never know what others really have. This changed me.
In that moment that is when I started to humble myself and focus on me and my family. Over the years I’ve tried to make a positive difference in other people’s lives and I try to use my own experiences as I teach my children, friends, and others that everyone falls on hard times. We must not judge others and not to be jealous. My husband and I have a humble life, but have made it our mission to help others. We organized a zombie volleyball benefit for a friend whose daughter had medical issues and was constantly going back and forth to Pittsburgh for treatment. We raised a good amount of money with that benefit – but seeing the impact it made on that family will stay with me forever because I thought “I’m a nobody and I made a difference to someone else’s life.”
My family isn’t made of money; but we do live on love, compassion, and appreciation for our time together.
About 5 years ago I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid arthritis and Muckle Wells syndrome. Muckle–Wells syndrome is a rare auto dominant disease which causes deafness and recurrent hives, and can lead to amyloidosis. I had recently given birth to my youngest and I couldn’t even pick him up because I had a disc in my spine deteriorate. These two diseases have made things difficult for my family and we struggle at times. However, I won’t let it hold me back even when my symptoms deteriorate even further. I am currently fighting for disability as I can no longer work due to my condition. My husband works hard and now pays all the bills – and I know it is not easy for him.
I can’t thank him enough, he is a wonderful dad, my strongest supporter, and at times, literally takes care of me. He helps me get dressed; get showered; and even in and out of bed. Because of my condition I have slowly started to lose my hearing – my husband who has the weight of the world on his shoulders – still found time to learn sign language and one night had our daughter sign me night mommy love you before bed.
My life most definitely hasn’t been easy. I’ve come to realize everyone has it different. I’m just so thankful for being loved that I want other people to feel happy when struggling in these hard times. If I can try and fix things or somehow, someway make it easier for others – I find peace.
My grandmother, whom I am very close to, used to talk to me about her nightmares. They scared her immensely. I wanted to help – I had to help. She was my life. I made her a dreamcatcher. This motivated me to start making them for others. These dreamcatchers made connections I will never forget.
Being bullied as a kid/teenager and seeing others being bullied made me the person I am today. Each and every day I teach my kids to be kind. We talk about bullying and what they should do if they see it. They are kind souls, and as a mother, I don’t want to hide being bullied because I feel we have an obligation to speak up.
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As women we need to use our greatest weapon. Our voice! Educating others and talking about our experiences – is therapeutic and I hope we can change this world together.
I currently have a fundraiser for my Mrs. State College International platform – any money raised from today until the end of March will be given to Sasha. She is a testament to true friendship, a warrior, and someone that even though has faced all odds – still faces life with a smile on her face. Use the link below
gf.me/u/zgm659
Want your own story shared? Please message me – our experiences can change the narrative.
~Amanda~
#stopbullying #mrsstatecollegeinternational #bullying #herstory #wearestrong #strongertogether
Her Boots 