Her Boots

Over 3.2 million students are victims of bullying each year. Children who live in poverty are four times more likely to be bullied. LET THAT SINK IN. You can find these statistics through the research done by The National Children’s Bureau and the Joseph Rowntree Foundation.

Have you ever been bullied? Has it stuck with you? Did you overcome it? How do you look back on those events? Please share your experiences with me in the comments below.

Children that are bullied can exhibit PTSD or even struggle with anxiety in adult life. I can still vividly remember most of the moments I felt horrified and bullied – I can also still remember all of the girls names that were bullies in my grade and the year before me.

5^th Grade:

New school – no one wanted to talk to me at first. The outfit I had picked out (all pink) was picked on for reasons to this day – I can’t tell you why.

I also remember always being in the guidance counselor’s office with two of my friends at that time – they, too, were constantly picked on.

I witnessed my one friend who lived by me, Alicia, being told she was fat by a supposed “friend.” Somehow this same girl managed to con us into giving her our most favorite toys – I remember this because I had these beautiful, big white and blue pompoms – I loved pretending I was a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader – and it really devastated me to have to give them away.

6^th Grade

One time I was walking to school and a group of girls that were one year older than me where running up to me trying to knock me down. They were also saying things about me and my clothing – mind you, they didn’t know me.

Hand-me-downs were a staple and if I must say so my fashion interests weren’t always like other girls – for some reason I always loved clothes that may have been thought of as too old for me…. For instance; one day I wore a dress ensemble that many would relate to a teacher. It was a maxi dress with a jean jacket style blazer vest – in the playground girls picked on me for wearing “old women’s clothing.”

Even my senior year picture – my love for business attire shown because I decided to wear a corduroy blazer and white button down.

Walking up the halls of my middle school (it’s tore down now – but the memories still haunt all the same) I would have to keep my head down and hope that no one would notice me, like I would just sink into the floor or blend with the walls. I honestly think this is where I developed my speed walking skills – to avoid an embarrassing moments.

I had purchased these old cameo style capris at the beach – I thought they were awesome – others not so much and I would be picked on for them any time I wore them.

7^th Grade

I had picked out a notebook that was ribbed together at the top, not the side – yes this is how petty some kids are – I was accused by a girl that she saw me buy this note pad at the Goodwill and she knew I shopped for my out of style clothes there. Truth be told – we were too poor to even shop there. Even my 9

^th grade year when my brother’s friend asked me to prom, my mom had to ask my father for half of the money for a prom dress at Goodwill that was $25. Come full circle –I now LOVE shopping at Goodwill. The notebook situation is also how I met my best friend – God sent me an angel in a girl who wasn’t afraid to fight or stick up for me.

8^th Grade

In History class with Mr. Shimmel – I was wearing a pair of red, white, and black Fubo sneakers – I thought with these shoes I had finally purchased something cool. (Trust me, at that time – Fubo was in… I think?) A girl sitting across from me picked on me for them and told me I bought them at Walmart – last day of wearing those… and sadly my Step Mother at the time had spent a good amount of money on them.

9^th Grade

I had worked a little in the Summer to be able to purchase my own clothes for school. I purchased these white and black reebok shoes, similar to what the cheerleaders wore at the time, but then again they were running shoes – just white and black, so really the emblem was the only thing that was the same…. 3 girls in particular made fun of me for trying to be something I was not – and I was a “poser.” Last day of wearing those – in all honesty, I did buy them because they resembled the cheerleader shoes. I was holding on to a piece of a dream that I always wanted to attain – being a cheerleader…. But I knew “my place.” I held onto those shoes for years as if I was holding onto the last attempt of achieving something I wanted….. but they also remained tucked away in my closest, hidden from everyone – just like my dream.

10^th Grade

Walking in the hallway to go to my next class – a girl comes barreling into me and because I “didn’t move” she tried to fight me – she came running at me again and I had to run to get away from her.

I can tell you I still haven’t fully recovered from these experiences. I still, at times, feel as though I am not good enough when I am around other people that seem to have “better situations” than myself. I know this sounds silly, but I tried so hard to be apart of a certain “crowd” in my childhood – that really does stay with you as you age. Now, I don’t have animosity – I can still remember who said and did these things and if I saw them today, I would offer a friendly hello and move along. However, not a day goes by where I occasionally have to tell myself I am worth it and to hold my head high. I still struggle. This is what our children are facing and sadly, it is worse today with social media.

A child cannot help their situation in life, and although it may be hard for other children to understand that, teaching kindness, manners, and generosity is not. We owe it to our children to give them a better understanding and attitude towards this behavior. The mantra of “get on with it” is outdated and to be honest bull sh*t. No one deserves to question their position in life or grow up ever wondering if they will fit in. They already do – they just need some help along the way.

I believe the more we expose our children to what other children stricken by poverty experience, the better they will understand and relate in some circumstances. I personally take my own child with me when I volunteer or help serve meals so to develop kindness, generosity, and an understanding that everyone is not dealt the same hand. Although he drug his feet at first, he now enjoys helping others and I don’t mean to gloat, but his teachers hold him in high regard when it comes to helping other children. Talking about my experiences, I also feel, has helped him develop an understanding and compassion like no other.

I am curious to what your thoughts are on how we can tackle this problem? How do we address it? How can we change the mindset? Please contact me on my main page and share your thoughts.

~Amanda~

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